heart, body, and mind

"i cannot heave my heart into my mouth." - william shakespeare

if shakespeare has trouble with it, can you imagine how hard it must be for me? nonetheless, i am going to try...

a couple of events have transpired which have me thinking a lot about the heart, body, and mind. most recently, attended an exhibit called bodyworlds. i've heard a lot of people talk about the fact that it took them between 2 to 4 hours to make it through the exhibit. it took me 30 minutes. i was strapped for time, so i was a bit quicker than the average joe. i didn't get the chance to read all the explanations, or listen to the commentary. however, i did see enough to get the gears in my mind working. my thoughts have been very absorbed in the miraculous human body. what complex creatures we are. the exhibit was of cadavers and explantions of the human body. the cadavers were in all sorts of interesting positions - a ballerina, a hurdler, a javelin thrower, the progression of a fetus into a baby. it was really humbling to see the creation and complexity of these bodies of ours. i was in absolute awe as i looked and realized. it helped me to stop and recognize the miracle of the body my soul resides in. it compelled me to want to never complain about my body and it's shape and function again. there are so many complex things going on inside of me. there were a lot of displays of the heart. hence i was thinking a lot about the heart and it's function.

i also recently watched a movie about the heart - at least it was kind of about the heart. shadowlands was the name of the flick. it was a painful love story - the real life story of cs lewis. it was not the usual nauseating hollywood love story. it was realistic and it was tough. there were a few ideas from the movie that i've been pondering in my mind since i watched it. cs lewis didn't marry until much later in life. joy davidman, who plays his counter part had been married before and had a son from that marriage. her first husband had opened his heart and fallen in love with another woman. he was an alcoholic and abusive. so, we have somebody who struggled with opening up to love because he had never really allowed himself to open up to it. we also have a person who is afraid to love because she has loved and has been hurt by it. the idea that there is something scary and painful about each of these situatoins has been in the front of my mind. the ability to allow ourselves to feel emotion is a risk - emotion can be the most wonderful thing and the most awful thing. however, if we don't allow our hearts to open up and to feel, then our growth will be stunted.

there was another twist of irony in the story. cs lewis was badly hurt when he was a child. his mother passed away when he was about 8 or 9 years old. it was an extremely painful and difficult situation for him. he didn't have much interaction or support from his father during their time of loss. apparently that was not the role the father played. as the story proceeds, cs lewis falls in love with joy. she has cancer. knowing this, he still allows himself to open up to the emotion of love and both the peace and pain that comes with it. as the story progresses, joy passes away. at first, cs lewis doesn't interact with or help the son. he is absorbed in and dealing with his own pain and doesn't know what to do to help the boy. the irony being that cs lewis was once in the same situation as the young boy. it is often difficult to look past what we are feeling and open our hearts and eyes to others situations and needs. it took a little time, but cs lewis realized (with the help of his brother) that the little boy need emotional support and guidance. he opened up his heart and conversations to the boy. i am certain it was painful and difficult, but he know it needed to be done. lewis changed the cycle. he could have done just as his father did, but he broke the cycle. he made a situation better than it had the potential of being by learning from past experiences. i believe the major theme of the movie was that of the role that both pain and joy play in our lives. love opens us up to both these things. it is part of the deal. allowing ourselves to feel the pain, as well as the pleasure is a part of allowing our lives to be real...to be as it should be. the reality of mortality involves pain.

the heart, the body, the mind - all complex in their different forms, all capable of greatness.